Conversations With My Scale

Before Weight Watchers:

ME: “What the hell do you mean I weigh that much?!!! You stupid scale. You’re probably calibrated wrong. There is no way in hell. It’s gotta be the uneven floor. Your overbearing mother didn’t love you enough, did it? I know she didn’t. You couldn’t measure up, could you? Mmm?! You seek self gratification by deflating others, you sick bastard!”

Scale: “???”

At this point, I kick the scale under the vanity and tromp off to the kitchen to presumably eat more crap to the soft and pitiful crying coming from the bathroom.

After Weight Watchers:

Me: “Oh. Dammit.”

Scale: “Bitch.”

If you’ve been a long time reader on this blog, you know that about once every quarter I get dramatic. I tell you how much I weigh, how terrifying it is, and how I’m going to change. I build myself up, only to fail a week down the road, blaming my lack of success on stress. I am tired of my own lethargy.

On my daily round-up of news, I noticed the JoyFit Club on Msnbc.com. Real people with real weight problems, who’ve taken control of their eating disorders, and lost the weight. Most of them were like me, using food to soothe a mental ache and not compensating with with activity. Except the only difference between these people and myself as of now, is that they’ve made the necessary changes in their lives and I’m still spouting excuses.

Failure is not an option.

There are goals I have:

1.) Fitting into an airplane seat without being uncomfortable.

2.) Going to Fenway and leaving without seat marks in my side.

3.) Treating myself to sky diving

4.) A trip to Italy.

5.) Going skiing again.

6.) Ultimately being healthy for myself and setting a good example for my kids.

So to guide me on my way — I need your help.

I’ve created the Twitter account: DidKateExercise. I would love it if you could find it in your heart to follow and if you don’t see a daily post by 9 p.m EST from me that I’ve done some exercise, either walking, weights, or ellipse machine, remind me or start the hate. I obviously can’t hold myself accountable in the first few days/weeks. I am hoping that once I get into this routine, I will need reminding less and less. Words of encouragement would be highly appreciated as well.

I’ve also made a binder full of some of the stories from the JoyFit Club. I’ve left the last few pages blank, waiting for my own success story. In the front, is the blog post I did on New Year’s Day as well, with all the words of encouragement from my friends. I put that in a place I see every day.

I’ve bought the iNike pedometer that fits with my iTouch as well. I have all these tools and it’s high time I start using them.

This is not going to be an easy road, but I’m hoping with your support, and your kind words and prodding that I can go really far. I promise to show the final result and post pictures of Italy, or a Red Sox game, or perhaps even a video of me jumping out of a plane.

I don’t need wishes of luck this time. I need wishes of do.