This Tastes Funny – Here, Try it.

Because I have to write poems for my creative writing class, and because I suck at them so badly, I’m offering them up for mass consumption. They will never, ever be published anywhere respectable, so instead, I publish them here.

Here is my final poem I wrote for the class. Yes, in a sense I just did that whole, “Omg, this milk tastes like it’s gone sour, here, try it!” trick.

Enjoy the rancid words!


The Sister Grimm

The pigs have flown away

With their stumpy silver wings as I stare

In mirth, in horror, in

Disbelief and covered in shit

I had this power all along.

The wolf had nearly won with his blow-hard

Antics and toothless bite

Keeping me prisoner in my own dying garden

Yet in the midst of winter

A single blooming crimson

reminded me of


To mourn my phoenix was both

Premature and pointless for I burst

From my cell like a virus hell bent on

Destroying the world or at least you and

Your poisoned apple

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