My Time Traveling CR-V

In the middle of the quiet night, when I am asleep, my car travels through time.

Don’t look at me like that.

It is the only reason why the clock in the dash has been slowly gaining time.

Let me explain.

I was one of those people who set their clocks far ahead in a feeble attempt to make myself feel better.

I’d rush out of the house, look at the clock in the car, freak out a little that I was going to be late, only to have the delicate kernel of memory engage and remind me that I had set the clock fast, so that I would be happy that I wasn’t tardy.

What?

In an effort to curb the insanity and to practice my, “holy hell, get out of the house and get to where you’re going” management skills, I reset the clock in my CR-V to the correct time. This was about two months ago. It was working well. I was getting to be a master. That’s until today. I looked from the digital clock on the dash to the XM radio that hovers slightly above it, and instantly noticed the disparity.

My clock had gained 10 minutes! In the course of two months, this car had done the impossible. It had found a way to cross the rift between time and space. And as I drove today, I realized that with the shift my car completed over multiple jaunts through different dimensions, that I too had interesting foresight. Behind the wheel, those ten minutes belonged to me. I could see that far into the future.

I know, this doesn’t seem like a whole lot of minutes, but it’s enough to win a football game, get out of the way of a speeding bus, catch a train, save someone from drowning, remember the crucial ingredient at the super market which will make or break a culinary masterpiece, grant insight to curb the words from your mouth in order not to have to say you’re sorry later, anticipate an important phone call… see this list goes on and on.

So thank you, my truly awesome time travelling car which grants me powers to see the future. I will not be resetting the time again. I will let you gain minutes and perhaps one day, I’ll be able to see farther than I had ever imagined.

Yes, I know this post will make me look like I’ve finally lost the last screw holding in my brain.

I’ve seen it.

 

**Incidentally, there is some truth to this story. While I may not have the time travelling or future seer powers, my car does continue to gain time. It’s very odd.

6 thoughts on “My Time Traveling CR-V

  1. Vince says:

    Yes, I know this post will make me look like I’ve finally lost the last screw holding in my brain.

    Heh. I know I’ve lost mine, so welcome to the club. Dues are nonexistent and the newsletter is intermittent, but we’re a fun bunch.

  2. durmiun/jason says:

    heh, whomever timed the mechanism for your clock was a little drunk, perhaps? 😛

    Think about it another way, though: your car, obviously being in possession of a personality, must be very anxious. while it’s managed to give you a new extra ten minute lease on life, things in it’s frame of reference must seem a bit odd. Seeing as how it’s minutes only have 599 1/10s of a second in them, as opposed to the normal 600, it must be in just a slight rush, permanently, trying to feel like it has to go just that little extra bit faster or else it’ll let you down.

    Poor CR-V.

  3. Ah, but how do you know that your XM Radio isn’t slowly travelling into the past, clinging on to precious expired minutes in an attempt to retain the comforts of a just-played classic, to revel in a just-heard DJ’s joke, clinging to the moment when a newly-released tune was sparkly and surprising and not tired and overplayed? In the CPU at the center of the radio, time is measured in MHz, millions of processor cycles per second–and so nostalgia for misspent youth and regret for missed opportunities is measured in minutes, hundreds of thousands, millions of thousands of cycles ago in the barely-remembered machine-past. When you changed the station trillions of millions of ones-and-zeros ago, what was the next song going to be? Your radio will never know, still it’s curious.

  4. WendyB_09 says:

    Kate, if setting a clock a few minutes ahead as a motivation tool is crazy, then I’ve been a member of the club for a very long time.

    Set my alarm clock that way, so when I’m beating the snooze button to death and glance at the time after a couple hits, I freak out and leap out of bed. ONLY to discover the vanity clock has normal time on it. But by then I’m out of bed, which was the object of the exercise!

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