Don’t Tag Me, Bro!

Dear Family, Friends, Acquaintances, and Co-workers,

I know you’ve been playing around on Facebook lately. I can see how many farm animals you’ve slaughtered on Farm Town and how many goblins you’ve slayed in D&D. I am truly intrigued by what car or war hero or female goddess or insane murderer matches your personality. I love wishing you a Happy Birthday and I most certainly love poking you back. ┬áIt helps me get to know you, really, it does.

I do have one request though — please don’t tag me in photos.

Outlining my fat ass with a drawing tool and typing in my name to ‘tag’ me in a photo that you’re probably lucky to still be alive after taking, is really not the wisest choice. Especially in photos where you can’t really see my face, but an outline of what looks to be human, but is really indeterminable. Or I especially love the photos where I’m eating some sort of food, probably the one meal I’ve allowed myself for the day, which to the untrained eye, looks like I’m a hungry pig at a trough. Yah, avoiding that would be greeeaaat. At the very least, just use excellent judgement. If my bra is showing, or I’ve got something in my teeth…probably not the best idea to post the picture, let alone identify the jackass sporting the spinach on the pearly whites.

I love all of you. I truly do. (Well, except that ONE person who I friended out of pure and insane guilt.) Show me you love me by not broadcasting my double chin, wide arms and big booty all over the social networking site.

Think of the children you’re scaring. Think of the old high school friends I will never be able to get revenge upon, er, umm…I got nothing else.

Thanks so much for all your help in advance.

Sincerely,

Kate “I’ll eat your soul if you tag me in another photo” Baker

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