Conversations with a Big Mac

Big Mac: I thought you were doing Weight Watchers?

Me: Yep.

Big Mac: Don’t you know I’m like a hundred gazillion points?

Me: Yep.

Big Mac: So spill it, why are you indulging in the horror that is me?

Me: Bad day.

Big Mac: Ah, emotional eater. Babe, you’re not my first.

Me: Really? Are you trying to make me feel worse? Cause, congratulations, you’re succeeding.

Big Mac: Not a tough love kinda woman are you?

Me: Some days it works.

Big Mac: Think of the  potential slamming body you could have if you just made one good choice after another?

Me: Who said you could talk? Suddenly, McDonald’s food gives lip with every value meal.

Big Mac: Just think, the obesity epidemic could be over if we talked Americans out of eating crap like us.

Me: Good point. I’m still hungry.

Big Mac: Fine. Indulge. Give in. I’m sure I’ll make a great accessory in the next tagged photo on facebook.

Me: You read my blog?

Big Mac: Yeah, we think you should bitch more.

Me: ….

Big Mac: Seriously, you’re totally funny.

Me: Now you are just mocking me. When did food get internet access?

Big Mac: Wifi, baby. Micky D’s installs it in every burger so it can track consumer trends.

Me: Eww.

Big Mac: What, it’s capitalism at it’s best. Rise of the corporation! Eat, eat, eat, buy , buy, buy!

Me: *sighs and puts head on table*

Big Mac: Oh.  I can see why you’re depressed. If it feels better, go ahead and eat me. Don’t worry about the tracking device, I’ve removed it’s functionality.

The Big Mac and I have been staring uncomfortably at each other for awhile now. Don’t know what’s going to happen. Stay tuned.

8 thoughts on “Conversations with a Big Mac

  1. Presumably it ends with the Big Mac being torn into millions of little pieces and digested, a suitable fate for such a one!

    The Big Mac is tasty. Enjoy the Big Mac. Stress not over the Big Mac. Many Big Macs are a problem, ’tis true. But one Big Mac? Not the end of the universe. Seriously. It just isn’t.

    Hope the day gets better and less-stressful.

  2. This is one of those times I follow Deepak Chopra. If you think it’s nectar, it is, and if you think it’s poison, then it is poison.

    Besides, the New England Journal of Medical Fast Food has noticed a 28 % rise in something that’s good, when you veer off and remember to return. 😀

  3. Big Mac = Blech. But I hate all things McDonald related, so I’m not exactly objective.

    Kate, don’t beat yourself up over it. As long as this WW hiccup doesn’t turn into a SuperSize Me diet, you’ll be fine.

    Also, you’re a smoking hottie regardless of your weight. Do what you need to feel comfortable in your own body, but never forget that you rawk as is.

  4. I could also see issues with a Bloomin’ Onion. Yum. (If it’s any consolation, I’m not having any issues with weight control, but the Doctor says my arteries are. Stupid cloggy blood vessels.)

  5. WendyB_09 says:

    Nathan…I’m with you on the bloomin’ onion thing. Actually, anything with onions, bloomin’ or not!

    The occasional slip-up will happen. Breathe in, breathe out, move on. I’ve even seen diets over the years that recommend an “off” meal or dessert once a week.

    And I’ve been known to calm stress cravings with a number 2 Value meal from McDonalds…Quarter Pounder w/cheese, fries, coke. Seems to balance something in my system/brain…

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