I Think I Owe My Scale An Apology

Conversations With My Scale

Before Weight Watchers:

ME: “What the hell do you mean I weigh that much?!!! You stupid scale. You’re probably calibrated wrong. There is no way in hell. It’s gotta be the uneven floor. Your overbearing mother didn’t love you enough, did it? I know she didn’t. You couldn’t measure up, could you? Mmm?! You seek self gratification by deflating others, you sick bastard!”

Scale: “???”

At this point, I kick the scale under the vanity and tromp off to the kitchen to presumably eat more crap to the soft and pitiful crying coming from the bathroom.

After Weight Watchers:

Me: “Oh. Dammit.”

Scale: “Bitch.”

3 thoughts on “I Think I Owe My Scale An Apology

  1. SO you are saying I shouldn’t have kicked my scale outta the house for bad behaviour? That perhaps it was justified in its unfriendly notifications?

    Oops!

  2. Ouch. I know the scale is only a number, not a moral and value judgment, still, I’ve had to do away with mine as well. The boys have one… I gave it too much power over my self worth and state of emotional health.

    I track my health/weight loss by clothing size and fitness level now. Not even my doctor knows what I weigh, I decline that as well when i go in to see her, just that it’s too much but slowly decreasing. 🙂

    As always, ::hugs:: and positive thoughts to you in your quest!

  3. Ellen says:

    Your overbearing mother says to throw the little tyrannical bastard out!! Trust, grasshopper that your BODY will tell you what is right. As the East Coast Distributor of Guilt, I say”if it feels pleasurable, “Don’t eat it!”
    Love
    Mom

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