Anger, Gmail & Clueless People

Dear Gmail,

Look, I understand that you had a relatively large e-mail outage yesterday, and you have my sympathies as you piece together the broken consumer confidence of angry technophiles who once viewed you as a deity. However, I have a simple request to make…

…again.

I once again received an e-mail that was clearly meant for someone else. Although I’ve politely responded to this other Kate Baker by means of informing her family, her personal lawyers and members of some odd college foundation that I am indeed, not the Kate they are looking for, she seems to keep giving out the address in question.

Just a minute ago, I was personally invited to a tequila dinner.

“Born of European parentage, Pepe was raised by the tradition that a word and an asshole meant a promise would be kept. Pepe has been in the asshole business for over 30 years, and as an asshole expert, his name on the bottle represents his personal commitment that this product contains all of the characteristics an excellent asshole should possess.”**

**Just because I’m really incensed over the way this has been mishandled, I’ve replaced random words in the above paragraph with the word ‘asshole’. I’m sure Pepe is a fine asshole, err I mean tequila maker.

Now, I have two options here as I see them. Consistently beg you to do something that blocks any mail coming from her address, from reaching me, or post every single email meant for this other impostor up on my blog and randomly replace words with expletives, all the while blaming her stupidity and your lethargy to accomplish anything of note.

I can handle spam. I really can. It goes into a nice spam filter which then gets deleted. Nice feature, it really is. However, the way you route her email address, (if that even is her e-mail address and she isn’t some stupid idiot who read it wrong upon initial creation and then proceeded to send it along to Pepe and everyone else on the planet), anything anyone sends to that address mentioned above, comes sailing over to me to rest in my inbox.

Houston, we have a problem here. I can’t even send her an e-mail asking her to stop using the address or to find another or come to any sort of compromise because anytime I send it, it bounces right back to my inbox.

So really, please, help me with this. Not only do I feel like I’m living a double life, but apparently my other self loves tequila dinners, shops on Scholastic.com (Oh yes, I have her password now) and uses Delta as her preferred airline of choice.

Can you see where this has become a bit of an issue?

Most sincerely,

Kate Baker (The real one, with the period)

Okay, that came out wrong. (The real one with the punctuation in the middle.)

—–

Seriously, I have no idea what to do here. 😛

8 thoughts on “Anger, Gmail & Clueless People

  1. Nathan says:

    Are these things addressed to only Kate Baker? If there’s an entire list of recipients, I could imagine some really creative “reply all” emails.

    More seriously, is there a way you can establish real contact with a human (either online or better yet on the phone), with someone at gmail?

  2. Nathan says:

    Forget “reply all” that is helpful and tries to give useful info. Try responding with the most annoying stuff you can think of…repeatedly…while saying, “I’m not that Kate.”

    Last week’s food delivery debacle was solved by me saying, “I don’t like calling you every five minutes. I know you don’t like me calling you every five minutes. You can put a stop to it by getting the kid with my money to show up.”

    The possibility of stopping an annoyance is a great motivator.

  3. I’ve actually replied all, and told them that she’s still giving out my e-mail address and no one bothers to tell her, or she just doesn’t care.

    As for google, they are useless. Try navigating their tech support site. 😛

  4. I eventually had to close one email address and open another. I had a super simple email address – jeri@gci.net – and I worked for the ISP. It and other four letter names were popular targets for those forging outgoing spam addresses – and the number of bounces off those forgeries I was getting numbered in the hundreds. There was nothing I could do – it became unusable.

    I’m sorry, I don’t have any useful ideas – annoying that a katebaker email gets to you just like a kate.baker one. 🙁

  5. I feel your pain, only in reverse…. and I sincerely hope that I am not the Kate causing your problems! Intended emails often do not arrive in my inbox because the senders leave that all-important middle initial out. I only wonder what kind of strange things go to that other Kate Baker (no initial, no period). Kind of disturbing, isn’t it? I guess that’s the price we pay for using a popular email provider with a relatively common name. 😛

  6. I really should get a gmail addy with my maiden name and perhaps no one would even think about sending me schtuff. 🙂

    Kate — here’s the deal. Gmail will deliver email to my address without the period, because their email system does not discern between the two. In fact, it’s their policy once a name with a period has been taken, the same name without the period is reserved for that original person. So it could be very likely that I’m also getting your mail.

    I know this other Kate is confused however, because she keeps offering that address without the period to everyone. So I’m not sure if she enters it wrong, thought she got it, gmail made a mistake, whatever… it’s very frustrating.

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